Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
