Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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