Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
