I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
