i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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