I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
