after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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