tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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