You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
