I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
