im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
