After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
