just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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