Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize