the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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