I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
