so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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