Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
