Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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