Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
