I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
