No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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