Just fell off a train. Bad.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
