I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
