Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
