Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
