every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
