Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
