oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
