we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize