: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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