Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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