Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
