I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
