Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
