question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
