new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize