Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
