You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
