before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
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I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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