I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
