there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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