im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well I just put wine in my tea
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
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