The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize