Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
