felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
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Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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