i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize