It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize