Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
