I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
