If i come over, it means nothing
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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