Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
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My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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