I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
