Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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